thread: mutual coming out is hard

## thread: mutual coming out is hard

#### 23 June 2019
from twitter and bluesky threads

### bly

| It's hard to come out to regular people, but it can even be hard to come out to another pedophile. In my 20s, I came out as MAP to a friend who I believed to be MAP and who initially seemed to signal that I was right. But then he backed off, talked about it as my problem, something that he couldn't help with. Both were probably true but I felt so abandoned. Then, worse... > > some years later I found myself in the reversed role, with a younger friend who told me that he had these feelings too. But by then I had a career, reasons why anyone knowing would be terrifying. When he asked me if I was MAP, I denied it, despite knowing I was. Since then > > another decade on, someone else in the same situation as me in his 20s asked me the same question, and after some squirming I knew it would be wrong to make him feel alone when he wasn't. So I fessed up and it catapaulted me into finally joining the ACMAP community. This > > has complicated my life further. I still have things to lose and life seems more dangerous. But I am not alone, and being among others in the same situation has allowed me to learn, assess, discover and find acceptance I never thought possible. I hope I always have the > > bravery in future to reach out and offer the same to younger MAPs who really need to tell someone, and never leave someone feeling more isolated, regretting the most difficult honesty they had to show. :: About the author: I have been writing and talking about the experience of being a pedophile since 2017. Once on twitter until my account was banned in 2020, I co-led Virtuous Pedophiles from 2021 to 2025. I now continue to look for ways to improve the lives of pedophiles, but never at the expense of harming children. I have never viewed illegal material, and never sought or engaged in sexual activity with any child. The rest of my life is countryside walking, friends, Radio 3 and feeling doleful about ageing. |

tags for this item

tags for this item

censorship36
experiences66
relationships33
social media37

other relevant items

other relevant items

untreated: meet the spouses |  | thread: i'm gay but not in lgbtq+ |  | map fallacy 10: blind gatekeeper fallacy
untreated team Two pedophiles and their long term partners discuss how their relationships began, how minor attraction was disclosed, and what happened next. |  | bly No, we don't want to join LGBT+, but some of us are lesbian, gay, trans and/or one of the other letters. |  | bly Why do people talk as if they have the tools to exclude MAPs from society?

untreated: meet the spouses untreated team Two pedophiles and their long term partners discuss how their relationships began, how minor attraction was disclosed, and what happened next.
thread: i'm gay but not in lgbtq+ bly No, we don't want to join LGBT+, but some of us are lesbian, gay, trans and/or one of the other letters.
map fallacy 10: blind gatekeeper fallacy bly Why do people talk as if they have the tools to exclude MAPs from society?