the (not) reasons i'm anti-contact

## the (not) reasons i'm anti-contact

#### 4 November 2018
from pedophiles about pedophilia

### brett daywalker

| Instead of talking about what my reasons for being anti-contact are, I want to go into what my reasons for being anti contact aren't. For nearly 20 years now, I have been outspoken on the internet about my pedophilia and about my anti-contact positions as a pedophile. I have done this in various places and under a number of different aliases, but my stance on the core issues of the matter have never changed, regardless of who I found myself talking to or where the conversation was taking place. Over the years, those conversations havetaken place on various usenet newsgroups, on the old BL boards, on non-pedophilia related message boards, comment sections under articles, on YouTube, and maybe even some other forums I'm forgetting about. I've spent years arguing the anti-contact position, and if I were able to compile all of the things I've written over the years on the matter in one place, I might have myself a fairly lengthy little book. However, today, I don't want to bring up the reasons I'm anti-contact. I've done that enough and such an entry would get far too long. No, in this entry, instead of talking about what my reasons for being anti-contact are, I want to go into what my reasons for being anti contact aren't. One, because that's a much shorter list, and two, because it's something there seems to be a lot of confusion about out there. One thing for certain, is that if you're speaking as an anti-contact pedophile, the things you're saying are nearly certain to piss someone off. If it's not some pedophile-hating, moral-outrage-shouting, myrmidon from the general public, it's a pro-contact pedophile. Or, sometimes, both at the same time. (Thanks to Twitter, mostly.) We all know that a lot of non-pedophiles view all pedophiles with absolute contempt, and it often doesn't matter how anti-contact or how "virtuous" we may be. A lot people out there are just as apt to tell me that they'd like to "cure" me with a bullet through my skull as they are to say the same thing to a pro-contact pedophile. They don't care. A pedophile is a pedophile and nonce is a nonce. Being sexually attracted to children alone is enough to qualify you as a monster. Also, when you insist to such people that you are anti-contact, the tendency is for them not to believe you. They think you must be hiding your true motives and that you're just trying to manipulate and deceive them. That's what pedophiles do, right? On the other side of this coin, we've got the pro-contact crowd. Before Virped, whenever I was speaking in any forum with other pedophiles, that's who I always found myself sparring with, and I never could seem to get around it. I tried at times to just stay silent on the contact issue, but I always found the things the more vocal pro-contacters said to be so grotesquely wrong that I never could keep my mouth shut for long. I don't suppose I need to tell anyone that this did not make me very popular in some of those old pedophile groups. Eventually, I always wound up vastly outnumbered, would be shouted down, and would wind up leaving out of pure frustration. Thank god for Virped. So, I hear the pedo-haters on one side, suspecting that my anti-contact stance is simply a front. It's an act to soften people up in hopes of one day achieving a more pro-contact agenda. They always seem to find one way or another of making this accusation in so many words as they hurl their righteous indignation my way. On the other side, I hear the pro-contact folks, assuming that I and pedophiles like me have "turned our backs on the childlove movement" and that we've "given up" in hopes that people will finally just like and accept us. We're traitors, sell-outs, and our treachery knows no limits. While I can't ultimately speak for anyone but myself, I want to once and for all state that all of the aforementioned assumptions about my motives for being anti-contact are absolutely, thoroughly, 100% incorrect. So, I say the following to both the pedo-haters suspicious of my anti-contact activism, and to the pro-contact crowd at the same time. I'm talking to both groups simultaneously here, and I'm going to address all of your misconceptions in a very condensed manner, so pay attention. Take this to heart and know this..... I have held a solid core belief that adult-child sex is wrong from the beginning. I pretty much became an anti-contact pedophile the very moment I realized children were sexually attractive to me. I've never held NAMBLA-like beliefs and gave up on them because they were too difficult to achieve. I do not hope for a future where adults and children can legally have sex and think we can only get there if we "play our hand right" and "play by the rules" for now. I'm not anti-contact because I want anyone's sympathy and I don't aim to "normalize" pedophilia. (Whatever that means.) I do not expect a congratulatory pat on the back for not molesting children or for being anti-contact and I'm not just hoping I can get people to like me a little more. My anti-contactism HAS NO ULTERIOR MOTIVE! I am anti-contact because I truly and steadfastly believe it's what is right, not because I think expressing those beliefs will benefit me in some way, either in the foreseeable or distant future. (Damn, I just coined a phrase. "Anti-contactism". In fact, I think we can even just go ahead and take the hyphen out of that. "Anticontactism". I like it!) To illustrate my point even further, I'll ask you all to use your imaginations a little. Imagine, if you will, that there really were such a thing as a crystal ball which could tell the future. Now, imagine I found myself one of those crystal balls and figured out how to use it. If I were to look into that imaginary crystal ball and see that nothing will change in terms of how society views and treats pedophiles/MAPs fifty or more years from now, or ever, I still would not change my beliefs, my involvement with Virped, or the manner in which I conduct myself as a pedophile. I'd be disappointed, but I wouldn't change a damn thing. The mere possibility that my efforts, my words, and now my involvement with Virped could keep even one pedophile from acting out with one child at any point ever is enough for me. That's who I am, that's what I am, and that's what I'm about. People on one side or the other can keep on not liking it all they want, just as long as they understand what it is they aren't liking. Glad I had the opportunity to clear all this up. About the author: I am a pedophile in my early 40’s and my life has not been easy. I understand that most people’s lives aren’t easy, but then most people aren’t cursed with the least desirable form of sexuality imaginable. The good news is, I have never acted on my pedophilic attractions. Specifically, I am primarily attracted both emotionally and sexually to preteen boys but also to girls in the same age range, although not quite as much. I see my pedophilia as a burden and a curse and every single day is a struggle. |

tags for this item

tags for this item

ethics of attraction32
maptivism23

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happy holidays! |  | a normal teenager... just a pedophile |  | thread: how does a pedophile not become an abuser?
leonard johnston From the bottom of my heart, Happy Holidays! |  | leonard johnston For some teenagers, their sexuality brings loneliness. They're not sure who they can talk to. I couldn't talk to anyone. |  | bly Pedophiles have different starting points and end with differing beliefs and behaviours. What do we know about why?

happy holidays! leonard johnston From the bottom of my heart, Happy Holidays!
a normal teenager... just a pedophile leonard johnston For some teenagers, their sexuality brings loneliness. They're not sure who they can talk to. I couldn't talk to anyone.
thread: how does a pedophile not become an abuser? bly Pedophiles have different starting points and end with differing beliefs and behaviours. What do we know about why?