## recent items ### the last 30 items by date ####

most recent entries: mar 2025 - jan 2026

|  |  | 1 January 2026 i don't believe in monsters alex mcwilliams I know I’m not one of you, and that it feels like I could never understand. But if you give me a chance, I’d like to try.
|  |  | 25 December 2025 crackle and burn james peak Review of The Pedophile, a novel by Robin Murarka
|  |  | 22 November 2025 voices that are drowned bly Benjamin Britten - feted as a great composer, known to be attracted to boys, suspected of one rejected advance - can we claim him as a non-offending MAP?
|  |  | 30 October 2025 unique window lukas How could the thing I feared most end up being what liberated me? I am not a pedophile but I experienced "pedophile-themed" OCD. Meeting MAPs changed my life for the better.
|  |  | 27 September 2025 the therapy whirlpool pavvn I'd like a therapist who can help me, and be aware of my pedophilia, one I can be honest with without evoking hurtful reactions. But I feel like I'm trying to swim out of a whirlpool.
|  |  | 19 August 2025 pretty good pedophiles ethan edwards Pedophilia doesn't define you. If you don't molest children, under the Pretty Good Pedophiles Shield, you should live life without shame or fear.
|  |  | 22 July 2025 review: sparta (2022) brizz A study in repression, misguided redemption, and missed responsibility
|  |  | 15 July 2025 a pearl of great price james peak Pedophilia is almost unique in that it is widely seen more as a moral failing than a medical condition, which renders treatment pointless and detection/punishment as the default societal response
|  |  | 8 July 2025 my therapy: opening the record win salisbury I’ve long wanted to see my case notes from my psychoanalytically-based therapy at the NHS Portman Clinic in London, England, in the early 1970s, yet till this year I had put off asking for them.
|  |  | 1 July 2025 you may have heard i'm a pedophile. this is not an apology. brandon goletzski An open letter to my family, friends and community in the event that I am doxxed, outed, or choose to out myself. At present none of those things have happened, but if that happens, I will attach my real name to this piece.
|  |  | 21 June 2025 poem: oven brandon goletzski the summer is at its full weight / i stand in the air-conditioned kitchen looking out from the window (why / is it that so much happens at kitchen windows?)
|  |  | 17 June 2025 when i chose pedophilia anonymous When did you choose your sexual and/or romantic attraction pattern? What alternatives did you consider? Did you take advice on it before you decided? Were you pleased with what you chose or did you later exchange it?
|  |  | 10 June 2025 chronologically wrong: a transage map anonymous Some MAPs have a strong concept of themselves as a child, which takes various forms. Someone identifying as transage explains how it feels.
|  |  | 3 June 2025 every day, forever hula Being a MAP is a large and constant part of the equation. Not a day goes by when I don't think about the fact that I'm attracted to children. If I weren't so active in online MAP communities, my attraction to children would weigh on my mind a lot more.
|  |  | 27 May 2025 double life anonymous One life was lived as a heterosexual non-pedophile and the other as a bisexual pedophile. I didn’t want to just break it off with her, as I didn’t want to hurt her. So, we got married.
|  |  | 20 May 2025 not a question of guilt iceground At 11, I left the countryside for a big city in Columbia. One day, a 20 year old man gained my trust after a long time talking. He had a network of child exploitation and I fell into it.
|  |  | 17 May 2025 a coming out guide for brave maps brandon goletzski People need to know that someone they love is a pedophile. If you're considering coming out to someone, here are my tips for doing it well
|  |  | 13 May 2025 do maps disown the p word? lecter Some people say the term MAP is synonymous with pedophile. Others act like choosing the map label means rejecting the pedophile label. Neither is actually true to our experience.
|  |  | 9 May 2025 the first few years bly A longterm relationship between a non-exclusive pedophile and an unaware non-pedophile ends. Who is left owing what to whom?
|  |  | 6 May 2025 never say die: the hard rules of suicide and map talk bly We deal with the topic of suicide similarly to the topic of pedophilia: denial, pre-formed narratives and a fear of listening to details of the truth.
|  |  | 6 May 2025 on mary oliver's wild geese james peak Unrequited love, impossible love, stupid, foolish love. My heart is broken, but so is the poet’s.
|  |  | 4 May 2025 two way mirror: pedophiles coming out to one another bly Two people simultaneously and silently ask, I'm one of the good ones, but are you?
|  |  | 2 May 2025 the rest of the list bly A new podcast from the BBC highlights the gap between the popular assumption that known pedophiles are removed somehow from society and the reality that they are not. Why does this gap exist?
|  |  | 2 May 2025 nitro in person py He dropped me off at the airport one last time, and he hugged me again. He wasn't crying this time. Instead, he mentioned that it may not be the last time he'd see me. But it was.
|  |  | 23 April 2025 nitro: a community says goodbye virped members Nitro, who has died aged 73, is remembered by members of the VirPed community.
|  |  | 22 April 2025 lawful good: writing a nomap character tom jones As I wrote the scenes where his attractions are revealed, it was my own coming out story all over again.
|  |  | 15 April 2025 nitro's final thoughts nitro I am a pedophile. I've made over 18,000 posts on the VirPed forum since 2015. I am dying.
|  |  | 8 April 2025 mouse trapped: i was channel 4's masked pedophile anonymous In 2023, I appeared anonymously with a Channel 4 panel talking about my sexual attraction to children. It's clear we don't yet know how to have this conversation.
|  |  | 1 April 2025 is pedophilia an orientation or a disorder? bly The key question that public and experts are debating to understand the nature of attraction to children.
|  |  | 18 March 2025 caught between two stigmas markus I was sexually abused as a child. I am also sexually attracted to children. I wanted support for abuse survivors but was turned down. So where do people like me go?

1 January 2026 i don't believe in monsters alex mcwilliams I know I’m not one of you, and that it feels like I could never understand. But if you give me a chance, I’d like to try.
25 December 2025 crackle and burn james peak Review of The Pedophile, a novel by Robin Murarka
22 November 2025 voices that are drowned bly Benjamin Britten - feted as a great composer, known to be attracted to boys, suspected of one rejected advance - can we claim him as a non-offending MAP?
30 October 2025 unique window lukas How could the thing I feared most end up being what liberated me? I am not a pedophile but I experienced "pedophile-themed" OCD. Meeting MAPs changed my life for the better.
27 September 2025 the therapy whirlpool pavvn I'd like a therapist who can help me, and be aware of my pedophilia, one I can be honest with without evoking hurtful reactions. But I feel like I'm trying to swim out of a whirlpool.
19 August 2025 pretty good pedophiles ethan edwards Pedophilia doesn't define you. If you don't molest children, under the Pretty Good Pedophiles Shield, you should live life without shame or fear.
22 July 2025 review: sparta (2022) brizz A study in repression, misguided redemption, and missed responsibility
15 July 2025 a pearl of great price james peak Pedophilia is almost unique in that it is widely seen more as a moral failing than a medical condition, which renders treatment pointless and detection/punishment as the default societal response
8 July 2025 my therapy: opening the record win salisbury I’ve long wanted to see my case notes from my psychoanalytically-based therapy at the NHS Portman Clinic in London, England, in the early 1970s, yet till this year I had put off asking for them.
1 July 2025 you may have heard i'm a pedophile. this is not an apology. brandon goletzski An open letter to my family, friends and community in the event that I am doxxed, outed, or choose to out myself. At present none of those things have happened, but if that happens, I will attach my real name to this piece.
21 June 2025 poem: oven brandon goletzski the summer is at its full weight / i stand in the air-conditioned kitchen looking out from the window (why / is it that so much happens at kitchen windows?)
17 June 2025 when i chose pedophilia anonymous When did you choose your sexual and/or romantic attraction pattern? What alternatives did you consider? Did you take advice on it before you decided? Were you pleased with what you chose or did you later exchange it?
10 June 2025 chronologically wrong: a transage map anonymous Some MAPs have a strong concept of themselves as a child, which takes various forms. Someone identifying as transage explains how it feels.
3 June 2025 every day, forever hula Being a MAP is a large and constant part of the equation. Not a day goes by when I don't think about the fact that I'm attracted to children. If I weren't so active in online MAP communities, my attraction to children would weigh on my mind a lot more.
27 May 2025 double life anonymous One life was lived as a heterosexual non-pedophile and the other as a bisexual pedophile. I didn’t want to just break it off with her, as I didn’t want to hurt her. So, we got married.
20 May 2025 not a question of guilt iceground At 11, I left the countryside for a big city in Columbia. One day, a 20 year old man gained my trust after a long time talking. He had a network of child exploitation and I fell into it.
17 May 2025 a coming out guide for brave maps brandon goletzski People need to know that someone they love is a pedophile. If you're considering coming out to someone, here are my tips for doing it well
13 May 2025 do maps disown the p word? lecter Some people say the term MAP is synonymous with pedophile. Others act like choosing the map label means rejecting the pedophile label. Neither is actually true to our experience.
9 May 2025 the first few years bly A longterm relationship between a non-exclusive pedophile and an unaware non-pedophile ends. Who is left owing what to whom?
6 May 2025 never say die: the hard rules of suicide and map talk bly We deal with the topic of suicide similarly to the topic of pedophilia: denial, pre-formed narratives and a fear of listening to details of the truth.
6 May 2025 on mary oliver's wild geese james peak Unrequited love, impossible love, stupid, foolish love. My heart is broken, but so is the poet’s.
4 May 2025 two way mirror: pedophiles coming out to one another bly Two people simultaneously and silently ask, I'm one of the good ones, but are you?
2 May 2025 the rest of the list bly A new podcast from the BBC highlights the gap between the popular assumption that known pedophiles are removed somehow from society and the reality that they are not. Why does this gap exist?
2 May 2025 nitro in person py He dropped me off at the airport one last time, and he hugged me again. He wasn't crying this time. Instead, he mentioned that it may not be the last time he'd see me. But it was.
23 April 2025 nitro: a community says goodbye virped members Nitro, who has died aged 73, is remembered by members of the VirPed community.
22 April 2025 lawful good: writing a nomap character tom jones As I wrote the scenes where his attractions are revealed, it was my own coming out story all over again.
15 April 2025 nitro's final thoughts nitro I am a pedophile. I've made over 18,000 posts on the VirPed forum since 2015. I am dying.
8 April 2025 mouse trapped: i was channel 4's masked pedophile anonymous In 2023, I appeared anonymously with a Channel 4 panel talking about my sexual attraction to children. It's clear we don't yet know how to have this conversation.
1 April 2025 is pedophilia an orientation or a disorder? bly The key question that public and experts are debating to understand the nature of attraction to children.
18 March 2025 caught between two stigmas markus I was sexually abused as a child. I am also sexually attracted to children. I wanted support for abuse survivors but was turned down. So where do people like me go?

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the p word is a collection of 319 articles, blogs, podcasts and threads in the voices of pedophiles and others who oppose adult child sexual contact and sexual exploitation of children. Despite our mainstream views, this content is frequently removed from social media or blog sites because openly discussing pedophile attractions or avowing them are not tolerated. Our side of the conversation continues here.
editor at the p word net Except where stated, all images are AI and do not depict real people

the p word is a collection of 319 articles, blogs, podcasts and threads in the voices of pedophiles and others who oppose adult child sexual contact and sexual exploitation of children. Despite our mainstream views, this content is frequently removed from social media or blog sites because openly discussing pedophile attractions or avowing them are not tolerated. Our side of the conversation continues here.
editor at the p word net Except where stated, all images are AI and do not depict real people