thread: i'm gay but not in lgbtq+

## thread: i'm gay but not in lgbtq+

#### 19 April 2019
from twitter and bluesky threads

### bly

| No, we don't want to join LGBT+, but some of us are lesbian, gay, trans and/or one of the other letters. Reasons I, homosexual non-offending non-exclusive MAP, don't belong in LGBTQ+ (1) I watch Eurovision every year (2) All my sexual partners have been adult males (3) I know a lot about musicals (4) I got homophobically bullied in school (5) I get bitchy when I feel oppressed. I personally don't think MAPs are part of the same struggle as LGBTQIA folk. However, the rules for inclusion in LGBTQ+ have become less clear over time. Initially, LGB was about the right of people to love and have sex with (and marry) whomever they chose, regardless of sex. > > The principle of this was that consenting adults could not be viewed to be doing harm by dating/having sex with people of the same sex. This is different to Anti-contact, non-offending MAPs because we are not seeking changes in the law nor to have sex with the people to whom > > we are attracted. We recognise that there can't be informed consent and believe sex between minors and adults is invariably harmful. Our struggle is to have it recognised that we are not molestors just because we have an unchosen attraction. For us pedophilia is > > a condition, an identity that should not be the target of prejudice or deny us fair and equal treatment at work or in access to mental health support, for instance, just for having this unchosen attraction. The picture is complicated by the addition of the T to LGB, as this > > is also about an unchosen identity and its acceptance by socierty at large. However, there is also a real-world action - transition - that trans people need to be protected in law and from prejudice. The I and A widen the parameters further still, such that the 'mission' > > of LGBT becomes intersectional support for all kinds of gender and sexual minorities. At this point, the position of minor attraction in the LGBT community (which is already fracturing over trans issues) becomes dependent on whether most LGBT people *and organisations* want > > us involved. History matters here because one of the first missions of the early gay movement was to deny and counter the homophobic slur that gay men were child molestors. When PIE and NAMBLA sprang up in the 80s, campaining for legalisation of 'intergenerational' sex, > there was a quick and concerted effort to bounce them out of the gay movement for fear of the transfer of stigma. It seemed that acceptance and legal change for gays could not be won under the shadow of gays making common cause with pedophiles who wanted legalisation > > of something indefensible, and which made the gays look bad. I guess similar but less extreme things happlened to kinksters and trans folk in those days too as vanilla cisgays carved out a space amid the oppression (from which others have since benefitted). It seems to me > > that while trans folk are now included and other minorities, such as intersex people, asexual people and others are too, various groups remain on the edge (such as kinksters) and MAPs remain outside, even though anti-contact MAPs accept the principle of informed adult consent > > and the principle of doing no harm. Could there be scope in the future for things to change? Maybe. But it seems to me that while the battle for gay equality is mostly won in some parts of the world, there are many more where the association with pedophilia would be toxic > > so rather than demanding the participation of people in embattled minorities in our struggle, it's best if ACMAPs pursue our own campaign to get people to realise 'pedophile' is not the same as 'molestor', and to try and tackle the fact that still too many > > MAPs become pro-contact, a stance which is wholly at odds with the principles of consent and no-harm that started the whole LGB thing in the first place. I feel that most anti-contact MAPs (maybe most MAPs) agree with my conclusion, here, if not necessarily my rationale. :: (That's my view. I'd be interested to know if @stonewalluk or @glaad have formulated any position yet on anti-contact MAPs either within or without LGBTQ+. It strikes me as a gay man that I have met quite a lot of closeted MAPs within the gay community.) About the author: I have been writing and talking about the experience of being a pedophile since 2017. Once on twitter until my account was banned in 2020, I co-led Virtuous Pedophiles from 2021 to 2025. I now continue to look for ways to improve the lives of pedophiles, but never at the expense of harming children. I have never viewed illegal material, and never sought or engaged in sexual activity with any child. The rest of my life is countryside walking, friends, Radio 3 and feeling doleful about ageing. |

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censorship36
other sexualities8
social media37

other relevant items

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cp viewing and raw prejudice |  | practical advice on coming out |  | interview: timothy on map support club
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cp viewing and raw prejudice ethan edwards Imagine a man who sees a shocking video of a 4-year-old girl being abused. He went looking for this video in particular, and he finds it terrifically exciting. He is excited by what is happening. How do we make sense of this?
practical advice on coming out ethan edwards Pedophiles often feel a desire to come out — to have their sexuality known. Here are some practical considerations.
interview: timothy on map support club timothy n frode Candice and awesome human being Timothy talk about MAP support club and how adult and teen MAPs now have a free, safe, confidential forum to get support and guidance which is so important especially during COVID when there is even more isolation happening.