thread: window shoppers and thieves

## thread: window shoppers and thieves

#### 2 July 2020
from twitter and bluesky threads

### bly

| People say that all we want to do is rape children. But this doesn't describe us well. We are often accused of desiring to rape on the basis our fantasies are about someone who can't consent. The second part is right. But imagine this scenario: Person 1 is standing outside a shop and has fallen in love with an item of clothing in the display. > She would love to have it but can't afford it, and knows nobody who could afford it. She sometimes has an idle daydream about just sneakily taking it while nobody's looking. But she lets that daydream go and gets on with her day, her week, her life. It isn't to be. > > There's another person, Person 2. Person 2 has kleptomania, which is compulsive and longstanding and he has stolen many times before. Person 2 steals because he's addicted to the thrill, and although he knows it's wrong, and feels guilty, just keeps on. BOTH people have > > “desires to steal", even though there's no moral way they can act on those thoughts. Person 1 would never have stolen: Person 2 pretty much can't help it. THIS is how much difference there can be between any two people that our society brackets together as > > "pedophiles", that is, people who entertain sexual thoughts about children. For some, it's only ever an easy-to-ignore thought, for others an obsession that absent impulse control they will act on. But we only ever hear about Person 2. Would you ban Person 1 from shops? > Yes, she can't be trusted 20% No, she's fine in shops 80% 50 votes · Final results > Before anyone else points it out: children are not pieces of clothing and the consequences of sexual abuse are far worse than any theft. But the point of the metaphor is that for Person 1 *theft never happens*. And, yes, cases occur where there's no legal offence but > > an adult's emotional overinvolvement with a child becomes uncomfortable or even abusive - a scenario not covered by my analogy. But the latter is not peculiar to pedophiles, and it is not a property of pedophilia. It needn't happen any more than offending does. I say > > that most pedophiles can understand and abide by safeguarding best practice. Any adult who can't, pedophile or not, shouldn't be working with or in charge of kids. But > > this is the problem: people cannot conceive that any pedophile can ever have a healthy, appropriate relationship with a child. This ignores the socially invisible reality of tens of thousands of NOMAPs who do just that every day, everywhere. About the author: I have been writing and talking about the experience of being a pedophile since 2017. Once on twitter until my account was banned in 2020, I co-led Virtuous Pedophiles from 2021 to 2025. I now continue to look for ways to improve the lives of pedophiles, but never at the expense of harming children. I have never viewed illegal material, and never sought or engaged in sexual activity with any child. The rest of my life is countryside walking, friends, Radio 3 and feeling doleful about ageing. |

tags for this item

tags for this item

censorship36
offending28
social media37

other relevant items

other relevant items

what made quora change its mind? |  | men not attracted to 13yo girls? ha! |  | bold and brave
leonard johnston 1 of 4: With over 1m views on 141 answers over six years, my Quora account was banned. Why? |  | ethan edwards A 2012 movie showed convincingly is that most men are attracted to girls of age 13 or older. |  | todd nickerson Right around the time that I outed myself, this group, Perverted Justice, showed up, and started a harassment campaign... I was one of the first they targeted.

what made quora change its mind? leonard johnston 1 of 4: With over 1m views on 141 answers over six years, my Quora account was banned. Why?
men not attracted to 13yo girls? ha! ethan edwards A 2012 movie showed convincingly is that most men are attracted to girls of age 13 or older.
bold and brave todd nickerson Right around the time that I outed myself, this group, Perverted Justice, showed up, and started a harassment campaign... I was one of the first they targeted.