why nobody should have sex with kids

## why nobody should have sex with kids

#### 10 April 2015
from celibate pedophiles

### ethan edwards

| Being in favor of adult-child sexual activity sounds awful to most people. Some might think it outrageous to even have a post addressing this question. They would think it is beyond debate, and if I'm willing to take the question seriously then I'm a friend of child abusers. Ethan Edwards is the co-founder of Virtuous Pedophiles. Blog posts reflect his personal views, and are not statements from the organization. Being in favor of adult-child sexual activity sounds awful to most people. Some might think it outrageous to even have a post addressing this question. They would think it is beyond debate, and if I'm willing to take the question seriously then I'm a friend of child abusers.I don't ultimately want to shy away from any question just because it makes my readers uncomfortable. If adult-child sex is wrong, there ought to be reasons one can provide, not just revulsion. Some pedophiles think adult-child sex is fine today — just make sure you don't get caught. Very few defend the idea in public forums that I am aware of. One reason may be fear of legal harassment — they can be taken as inciting illegal behavior of a kind society takes very seriously. All other pedophiles are united in opposing adult-child sex today — or that's what they say. There is a major division among them in terms of the future society they would like to create. The pro-contact pedophiles feel that adult-child sexual contact is fundamentally OK. The anti-contact feel it is fundamentally not OK. In upcoming posts I will argue against the pro-contact position — that adult-child sex is wrong and that there is no desirable transformation of societal laws and attitudes would make it OK. I hope it will be persuasive. But I have a more immediate concern: making sure people do not abuse kids — right now, today, in our society. Even if you hold pro-contact views. One argument for abstaining is selfish and simple: You want to avoid the harsh criminal penalties. That might not be enough for some people who are willing to take a risk. But most pedophiles see themselves as caring about children (they restrict their attention to cases where they perceive the child is truly willing) and would abstain if they felt it would risk serious harm to children. I start with a simple question: Will the sexual activity remain secret? If it becomes known to others, a child in the US and many other countries can expect rough treatment from social services and the legal system. The system will try hard during a highly unpleasant process to reinforce in kids the idea that they have been abused and wronged, even if that was not their initial experience. If they didn't think it was a big deal, the system will convince them that it was a big deal. The system will also get them to cooperate in sending to prison a man who they typically care about. Most ordinary people of course feel this legal treatment is basically correct, but we are looking here at what pro-contact pedophiles think — and this should be sufficient reason for them to abstain. This source of harm is recognized in some pro-contact communities as "iatrogenic" — a term that originally meant harm caused by doctors, but broadened here to harm caused to the child by society's reaction to the sexual activity. The other case is that it never becomes known. Many recognize that it is a burden for children to keep a secret — a secret they must keep well into adulthood to avoid those unpleasant consequences. If they enjoyed the sexual experience, they might want to share with their friends. If they feel regret or turmoil later, they might want to get help from a professional therapist, discussing the issue while keeping their privacy. But mandated reporting laws mean that a child who reveals sexual activity with an adult has no control about keeping a secret — the therapist must report. Family and friends might also alert authorities on their own initiative, and in some US states ALL people are mandated reporters. A child who understands these consequences is then stuck with a secret — a secret about a subject that they are likely to have strong feelings about. Those are reasons to abstain today even if you believe that with more relaxed attitudes, adult-child sex would be OK. They are sufficient reasons, even if there are other reasons. Much sexual abuse is carried out by men who are not pedophiles — they find adults more attractive, but the children are available and somewhat attractive. These arguments apply with full force to them too. Not just the public, not just anti-contact pedophiles, but even the bulk of pro-contact pedophiles are united in opposing sexual contact with children today. Don't do it. About the author: Ethan Edwards is a pseudonym. I am a pedophile, always celibate, and I have never seen child pornography. My attraction is strongest to girls around 4 years old, but I am also attracted to girls and women up through their 30s or beyond. Now in my late 60s, I'm divorced and living alone. I was married for over 10 years and was heavily involved with raising my 3 daughters. For most of my career I was a successful software engineer. I am very unusual for a pedophile in that I didn't realize that I was one until I was in my 50s—but it was there all along. I am angry that we all must remain silent or risk losing everything. That was my mindset when I co-founded Virtuous Pedophiles in 2012. I soon learned of the the terror of the typical pedophile who realizes as a teenager that his attraction isn't going to go away, who has nowhere to turn for help. The injustice I am most passionate about is the harsh legal penalties imposed on pedophiles who passively view illegal images of children. I stepped down from my role as a director of Virtuous Pedophiles early in 2024 and am delighted to pass the mantle on to a younger generation. This content was taken from Ethan's longstanding blog, Celibate Pedophiles. Some of the titles and taglines have been edited for their inclusion at thepword. You can see an earlier version of the blog at the wayback machine. |

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keep kids safer: get rid of mandated reporting! |  | celibate pedophiles are common |  | critique of a podcast: the worst epidemic
ethan edwards Rare horrible news stories drive public perceptions and legislation. |  | ethan edwards On the face of it, "all pedophiles are sex offenders" is a phenomenally arrogant assertion. |  | ethan edwards It's as if you said, Lawbreakers! Disgusting people! An epidemic of vast proportions! Some of them murder and torture people! That's true. But there are other lawbreakers who park in no parking zones or let the time expire on their meters.

keep kids safer: get rid of mandated reporting! ethan edwards Rare horrible news stories drive public perceptions and legislation.
celibate pedophiles are common ethan edwards On the face of it, "all pedophiles are sex offenders" is a phenomenally arrogant assertion.
critique of a podcast: the worst epidemic ethan edwards It's as if you said, Lawbreakers! Disgusting people! An epidemic of vast proportions! Some of them murder and torture people! That's true. But there are other lawbreakers who park in no parking zones or let the time expire on their meters.